so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
