if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We had to coat check the pizza.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
40s are totally the cure
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I am mentally ready for anal.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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