I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
