I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
