Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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