The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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