he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
