Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
