Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
