Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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