If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
did i walk over a car last night?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
