then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
