its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
