he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
