She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
