Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
