thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
