she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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