How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
