Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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