I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
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