Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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