I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
That accounts for only three of the penises
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
