Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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