D3 body, D1 cock
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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