Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
