I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
