I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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