just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
