the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
