omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
