i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
