I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well I just put wine in my tea
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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