I am puke
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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