Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
