i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
