I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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