if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
