Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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