Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
