do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
