Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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