I only kidnapped one of them. chill
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
