:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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