she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
