It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
