god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
