let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
