its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I believe in your delicious
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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