You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
its liver damage thursday
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize