I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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