Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
