So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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