I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
