how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
