You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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