You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
