im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
